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Understanding traits and personality

Marital adjustment is a process. The initial task is to form a marital sub system to develop a satisfactory pattern of mutual accommodation to each other’s needs. Intimacy is the basic reason for any conflict. The intimacy itself permits or gives freedom to have disagreement with spouse. Sometimes one may try to correct or remodel or change the other person. People will have differences because of their socio, cultural and personality differences. The power struggles will also contribute for marital conflicts and sometimes marriages become a battleground for ego clashes. Therefore this will have to be studied to see whether there will be mutual fulfillment of basic emotional needs without any ego threats.

Health

People are supposed to be healthy in their teenage. This belief sometime fails. One may not be aware of the previous health history of the other partner. When a person gets frequent trouble with one particular health problem, the other partner will get frustrated since it will affect their routine life. It reduces their happiness and it affects their finance besides their sexual life. Sometimes sexual life itself may cause some new health issues. Change in environment will also be another reason for some health issues. Child bearing brings some health issues occasionally. Addiction to alcohol or drug or to some substance is another problem. Sudden attempt to overcome the addiction will also cause some minor health issues.

Wealth creation

Sometimes lack of financial freedom will affect the relationship between the spouses. In the same manner, imposing the financial burden will also spoil the relationship. A person before marriage would have enjoyed independence in their way of spending. But consequent to institutionalization of family, there will be indirect or direct pressure from the other partner to go for wealth creation in the form of making investments in movable or immovable properties. Interest in buying properties, selecting the location, pooling of finance, creation of asset in one’s name are all issues in this process. Some people will hesitate to avail loan or financial assistance while some may be willingly accepting such arrangements.

Problems due to in-laws or other external influences

Your marital partner may depend more on his relatives and family members for making decisions. You may not like your partner’s friends and you may feel that undue influence is being caused by your partner’s friend in your family affairs. Sometimes parents-in-law may have a hold over your partner. You may have the feeling that your partner cares more for his/her relatives than for you. Problems may come in sharing the household responsibilities also. Such external influences will affect the marital relations and bring marital dissatisfaction.

Sexual life

Men and women are socialized differently. People who are in 20s and 30s will be more preoccupied with their occupation since it is prime period for them to prove their talent and earn money. One may not able to share enough time with their partner. Sexual need is a basic physiological need and when this need is legitimated through marriage, certainly there will be more thirst. Person who is not much socialized may have fear over sexual relations also. Some people will have wrong impression about sexual life due to traditional values imposed on them from their late childhood and teenage days. Impotency may also be one of the reasons for disliking sexual relations. Liking the partner only for sexual relations will also wound a person. Some may not able to tolerate the irritating sexual behavior of the partner and ultimately they may say “no” to sex.

Progeny factor

Now days it is quite common that we see that there are disagreements in having children between spouses. Times have changed and the couples are deciding to have one or two children. They are also more concerned about the timing of the conception because they think that their career or higher education should not be affected in the process of family expansion. Infertility or inability to conceive is another issue among the wedded couple. Frequent miscarriages will be frustrating the couple. They are also not sure that whether they will be blessed with a healthy child. All these things cause concern in marital relations.

Course of married life after birth of children

Researches show that resilient families must have the following qualities. They must have

1.  High degree of Commitment

2.  Must focus on good qualities of other person and appreciate it

3.  They must be in a position to share their feeling openly and discuss things freely

4.  They must have desire to spend some time together

5.  They must share common values and they will have to build a strong value system

6.  They must be in a position to deal with crisis and stress in a positive manner

7.  Therefore all these things will have to be analyzed in a chart to find out the state of family in near future.